In September 2018 I realised that I had a serious problem with alcohol. After a chat with my husband It was decided that I would go to a twelve step rehab centre. I was there for 12 weeks and was taught to follow the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. This included finding a God of my understanding/Higher power. I was an agnostic at the time and found this part of the program really difficult.
Once I was back home I continued to struggle with finding any sort of spirituality or higher power. I tried Bhudism, Mother earth, the force of the universe and read up about Christianity. Over the next couple of years I didn’t make much progress and relapsed many times. I ended up back into rehab twice more as the disease continued to get worse.
However, during this time I made a friend who attends AV and I started to pop in to see him. I then started to volunteer at the food bank which ended with me working for Renew. Just being around the church and the people made me more curious about God and I decided to go on an Alpha course. It was from this and the endless God moments that I started to have, that I finally realised that God was and always had been with me throughout my life.
The people in church started to pray for me and showed me how to pray to God myself. As I felt the holy spirit grow within me, I started to feel the peace that comes with it and so I embraced it fully and decided to give myself over to God. I couldn’t think of a way to do this in any sort of official way until I heard Chris talk about the beach baptism in church one Sunday. I knew this was something that I wanted to do and approached Chris for a chat about it. He didn’t chat, he just said “Bring a towel and a change of clothes and I’ll see you on Sunday”. I thought this was a bit odd but thought oh well, I’ll just go. When I told him that I’d wanted to chat first, we laughed and realised that it was another God moment. I had been afraid and given half a chance I may have talked myself out of it. It was an amazing experience and since then I feel God is with me every minute of every day.
Although my disease is still active, I now never feel alone or unloved and I realise that this is all part of his plan for me. I am humbled that he has me and my life in his hands and I pray every day that I don’t let my self-will stand in his way. Amen
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